Simpsons Quotes

[Jay]

My cats breath smells like cat food.

- Ralph Wiggim

[Codeine]

Doh

Homer Simpson.

[DanielW]

a-hi-hi-hi-hi-hi

[onewecallgod]

if i can sink to the bottom, i can run to the shore.


-homer

[onewecallgod]

i am so smart. i am so smart. S-M-R-T. S-M-R-T

-homer

[Jay]

Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know.

- Apu

[Jay]

Ooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans!

- Mr. Burns

[Jet Set Willy]

Homer: "I could walk up to the President and blow smoke in his stupid monkey face!"

[onewecallgod]

Excelllent

-Burns

[Jay]

Me fail English, that's unpossible

- Ralph Wiggim

[onewecallgod]

no its "...thats imperssible"

get it right Jay :P

[Jay]

Homer : "No TV and no beer make Homer something, something."
Marge : "Go crazy?"
Homer : "DON'T MIND IF I DO!

- Homer and Marge

EDIT - And my bad on the imperssible :P

[Jet Set Willy]

Originally posted by onewecallgod@Oct 28 2003, 04:03 AM
no its "...thats imperssible"

get it right Jay :P
You have to be fucking kidding.

[Jay]

Oh.... was I right? Hmmm....

[El Fugitivo]

Yes, it's "unpossible".


This one hasn't aired yet, but it's on the commercials for the next Treehouse Of Horror, when Death knocks on the Simpsons' door:

Homer: "We don't want any."

[onewecallgod]

i guess its my shitty reception that makes it sound like imperssible

[ScotchGuy]

Homer:

The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

[ScotchGuy]

Homer:

Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

[Jet Set Willy]

Heh, Gamblor.

Homer: Oh, twenty dollars, I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

[Codeine]

Homer: "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me"
Teller: "Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"
Homer: " I dont know"

[Jet Set Willy]

Ralph Wiggum: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

[ScotchGuy]

Homer:

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

To alcohol! The cause of- and solution to- all of life's problems.

Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.

Marge: Bart! I don't know where you pick up such foul language.
Homer On Phone With Moe: Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.



Skinner:

Order, order. Do you kids wanna be like the real UN or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?

Children, I couldn't help monitoring you conversation. There's no mystery about Willie. Why, he simply disappeared. Now, let's have no more curiosity about this bizarre cover-up.

Hello, Simpson. I'm riding the bus today because Mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it.



Groundskeeper Willie:

That's the last time you'll slap your Willie around!


Leonard Nimoy:

Hello, I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounter is true and by true, I mean false. Its all lies. But they're entertaining lies, and in the end isn't that the real truth? The answer is no.

[hitmonlee]

Originally posted by Waz@Oct 28 2003, 01:09 PM
Ralph Wiggum: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!
that's my one, i say that one :angry:


Then we figured out we could park them in front of the tv. That's how I was raised and I turned out tv.
- Homer

[donkeyknob]

DETENTION!
-- many teachers in one of the treehouse of horrors

[Jay]

Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.

- Bart

[The Hedgehog]

http://www.student.smsu.edu/s/san232s/hardfunnypics/RicersSimpsons_professor.jpg

[Jay]

Homer: "Hello my name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a package for me."

Postman: "Okay Mr Burns whats your first name?"

Homer: (slowly) "I don't know."

[Jet Set Willy]

We've already had that one, shithat.

[onewecallgod]

mmm...dooughnut...


*drooling sound* mint julip

-homer

[Jay]

We've already had that one, shithat.


Jesus Christ, lighten the fuck up. For someone that makes so many mean jokes, you sure get offended easily...... shithat

[Jet Set Willy]

Originally posted by Jay@Oct 28 2003, 11:11 PM

We've already had that one, shithat.

shithat
Good comeback!

And why assume that me calling you shithat is a sign of offense? I just think you're being a shithat.

[El Fugitivo]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


He wasn't offended, though apparently you were.

[Jay]

I'm not offended :P

[Jet Set Willy]

Let's just all forget this and eat Badger's birthday cake while he's not looking.

[Jay]

Badger's birthday cake scares me.

[Jet Set Willy]

That's why you have to eat the cake while it's not looking. Hah, you thought I meant Badger?

[Jay]

Yeah I did, Tee Hee. But anyways, what if it eats me first?

[Jet Set Willy]

I'd say "enough" and go read something else on the Internet.

[Jay]

I agree, not only am I being a shithat, but now a chicken-shithat. It must end!

[hitmonlee]

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel
-Homer

and that entire epsiode where homer starts an internet company is very quotable
or when he makes that web page which is all just animated .gifs

i love homer

[Jay]

Homer is the best character on the show.

[Jet Set Willy]

Originally posted by hitmonlee@Oct 29 2003, 07:16 AM
and that entire epsiode where homer starts an internet company is very quotable

Homer: Hello, I am from the Internet.
Homer: It needs a more cutting name. CutCo, EdgeCom.... Interslice.

[Codeine]

'There vocabullary consist's mainly of "Oh ya?" and "C'mere a minute!"' - Kent Brockman

'Oh ya?! Bart! C'mere a minute!' - Homer

'YOU c'mere a minute!' - Bart

'Oh ya.....' - Homer (He shake's his fist at Bart too)

[KidneyKai]

Eenie meanie meini mo, catch a tiger by its toe, if it hollers, et it go, eenie meani meini MO!

- Homer, during the nuclear melt down :lol:

I think those are the words. Feel free to correct me, if they are. :D

[Splize]

Lisa - "Astronaut Bread?"

Homer - "Its The Bread Of the Astronauts"

[Jay]

I AM EVIL HOMER! I AM EVIL HOMER!

- Guess Who

[Splize]

Dr. Nick??

[Jay]

Yes.

[DanielW]

hi everybody

[Jay]

Hi, Doctor Nick!

EDIT: 100th post! W00t!

[Jay]

Lisa: So many times we've seen our father go under the knife.
Marge: One more and I get a free hysterectomy.
- While watching homer have surgery on his leg.

EDIT: Watching this one right now.

[Splize]

Originally posted by Jay@Oct 30 2003, 10:58 PM
Hi, Doctor Nick!

EDIT: 100th post! W00t!
WTf heh I just relized I have only 8 posts

[Jay]

Originally posted by Splize+Oct 30 2003, 09:15 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Splize @ Oct 30 2003, 09:15 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Jay@Oct 30 2003, 10:58 PM
Hi, Doctor Nick&#33;

EDIT: 100th post&#33; W00t&#33;
WTf heh I just relized I have only 8 posts [/b][/quote]
Well, that doesn&#39;t make you any less of a Splize. :P

[Splize]

thats true :o

[Tidus_Flame]

Flanders: hey diddly Homer: Piss off flanders Flanders: okaly dokaly

homers ongoing hate to flanders

[Tidus_Flame]

by the way do you people watch anything else by matt groeing

http://thejedialliance.com/other_media/ep1-simpsons.jpg

[Tidus_Flame]

and another


http://www.cae.wisc.edu/~me232/simpsons.gif

[Tidus_Flame]

and all the quotes from barts chalkbord scene

http://images.art.com/images/PRODUCTS/large/10068000/10068739.jpg

[Tidus_Flame]

homers beer/milk page

http://images.art.com/images/PRODUCTS/large/10059000/10059819.jpg

[Jet Set Willy]

I hate you Tidus.

[Codeine]

Tidus rules :ph34r:

[hitmonlee]

Originally posted by Tidus_Flame@Nov 6 2003, 02:05 AM
by the way do you people watch anything else by matt groeing
yeah i watch futurama

[DanielW]

futurama was pretty funny as well. another show i liked was family guy (not by matt groening)

[Tidus_Flame]

yes futarma is funny but extreamly far fetched though thats what mkes it funny

[<><>]

Quintuple post and quadruple picture spam post... you get THAT excited over the simpsons?

[Tidus_Flame]

of course its the simpsons :D

[ScotchGuy]

The Simpson&#39;s suck now, get over it.

Their older episodes were excellent, all of their new epsiodes are just awful.

[Codeine]

Agreed.

[hitmonlee]

actually i think the really early episodes aren&#39;t that funny.

[ScotchGuy]

Yeah, that&#39;s when they tried to make them semi-serious and make it have some sort of meaning.

[Tidus_Flame]

true now i watch it just to gigle at the animation

[KidneyKai]

The episode where Homer becomes leader of the Garbage men.




Lisa - dad, isn&#39;t this one of those things that could be sorted with a simple apology?

Homer - I never apologise&#33; I&#39;m sorry lisa, but thats just the way I am&#33;

I love that quote, always makes me laugh.

[MONKEY_NUTS]

heh.

[KidneyKai]

Scary, that episode came on BB2 yesterday :blink:
Coincidence, i think not&#33; I got the quote a little wrong though, but the foundations are still there B)

[Tidus_Flame]

"I&#39;m better than dirt&#33; Well most kinds of dirt. Not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can&#39;t compete with that stuff" - Moe Sizlack :lol:

[hitmonlee]

"Lisa, a guy who&#39;s got lots of ivory is less likely to hurt Stampy than a guy whose ivory supplies are low." - Homer

"Stealing? How could you?&#33; Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what’s-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughin’, did you?" - Homer

Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
Homer: Yup, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

"Marge, don’t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals … except the weasel."
- Homer

[Tidus_Flame]

"I wanna be death again, that was cool" -Homer

(time freezes)
Bart-Do you know what this means?
Millhouse-Yeah but you go first.
Bart-It means we can do anything we want.
Millhouse-yeah we can get really far in our homework.
Bart-UNNNGH

[Codeine]

Class: "Lisa likes Nelson&#33;"
Milhouse: "She does not&#33;"
Class: "Milhouse likes Lisa&#33;"
Jaenie: "He does not&#33;"
Class: "Jaenie likes Milhouse&#33;"
Uter: "She does not&#33;"
Class "Uter likes Milhouse&#33;"
Prof. Largo: "Nobody likes Milhouse&#33;"

Classic.